Your daughter will marry a man exactly like you
This bears repeating. Your daughter will marry a man exactly like you. * Think about that. Notice your reaction to the statement.
Are you the man you want for your daughter? Are you willing to demonstrate the man you want your daughter to marry?
This is big men. When I heard this for the first time I experienced pride, humility and disappointment simultaneously. One thing became very clear. From that point on I live as the man I want my daughter to marry. That doesn’t mean I am perfect it simply means I live my life in relationship to my daughter with that intention. I live as the example I hope my daughter will measure her husband by.
It’s important to understand the significance of a man’s relationship with his wife is how our daughters learn who we are as men. That’s not to say your relationship with your daughter is not important it is. What a girl receives from her father’s relationship to her mother and women in general teaches her what is acceptable and what to look for in a man. Fathers, this is not restricted to a husband and wife relationship in the confines of marriage, it also includes your relationship with your ex-wife, girl friend, mother, sister and any other significant female relationship you are a part of. You as her father have the most powerful influence on your daughters self esteem in relationship to men.
There are many aspects of a daughters upbringing that are best left to her mother to manage. This doesn’t mean that you as the father have little to no responsibility in her upbringing. It simply means that your contribution to your daughter is mostly a role model for her. Yes you give her your love, attention, guidance and well meaning advice.
Although on the advice part, don’t expect her to follow it. In other words, you assure her a safe and healthy environment in which she relates to you and she knows she can trust you for that.
I have often caught myself attempting to relate to my daughter the same way I relate to my son. I relate to my son based on my experiences as a boy or younger man. He and I have certain things in common that are intrinsic. My daughter and I have a different way of being with each other. The truth is I cannot truly know how she feels in most situations. Many times I will catch myself trying to fix her problem or circumstance. Even worse I will try to fix her along with the problem or circumstance when all she really needs is for me to listen and be her dad. Being her dad simply means to provide and protect and if she needs me she knows I will be there for her.